Tuesday, September 12, 2006

What Goes Around...

I'm back to pondering the circular logic of the Christian Right's argument against gay marriage and gay parenting. 'We've banned gay marriage in some states,' the logic goes. 'So now we need to ban gays from adopting, because children should only be allowed to be raised by married couples.' This USA Today article (from February) sums it up nicely.

I think the most interesting piece of information in that article is this: "Mississippi bans adoption by gay couples, but gay singles can adopt." I'm left to wonder if single gay adoptive parents in Mississippi have to sign an affidavit swearing off dating and sex for the life of the child. What purpose does a law like this serve? What strange lines get drawn in the sand...

I'm also curious whether the Christian Right agenda (and believe me, they have far more of an agenda than the gays ever did) includes removing children from all non-traditional homes at some point in the future - after they've managed to ensure that the queers can't become parents. Single moms? Nope. Single dads? God, no. Blended families? Uh-uh, unless they're the result of widowhood; divorced people are not qualified to raise children. Grandparents? Maybe, if they were appropriately wedded when they raised their own children, and haven't subsequently gotten divorced. Logically, if this is the case, we'll need to ban divorce, too. And marriage between anybody who doesn't want children. Couples will need to be tested for fertility before getting marriage licenses - and if it turns out they can't conceive, they'll need to agree to adopt at least one child. Far fetched? Maybe...

I agree that divorce is bad for children, and A---- and I have a "no outs" clause once children are introduced into our relationship for that reason. What I don't agree with is the government, at the behest of the church, dictating who should and shouldn't be allowed to marry or parent based on a set of morals that aren't universally accepted. Most non-sociopaths, whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim, agnostic, atheist or otherwise, agree that someone who beats their child(ren) shouldn't be allowed to parent. Easy enough. But if you have to apply the Bible in order to explain why gays shouldn't parent...well, that's a fine choice for your church to make, but I don't subscribe to the theory that the Bible has any real clout in dictating the rules of my life, so I'm not sure how it applies.

Back, full circle: Gays shouldn't be allowed to parent, goes that circular logic, so why should they be allowed to marry. And they're not allowed to marry, spin spin spin, so they can't be allowed to parent. Very neat.


As an aside, for those of you following my personal journey toward parenthood, A---- and I have been assigned a social worker, and she's supposed to call us by Wednesday to set up our first home study appointment. We're free all next week right now, and hoping we can just cram the four appointments in, bam bam bam bam, Monday-Thursday evenings. That's how it works when you're eager, right?


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