Where Are Our Stats?

As I pulled into the parking lot at work last Friday, I heard a report on NPR that the lesbians had broken up. This is the couple in Massachusetts who were the lead plaintiffs in the case that ultimately resulted in gay marriage being legalized in the state.

The first thing that crossed my mind was that all the folks who oppose gay marriage were thinking "I told you so," as they heard this news. What pressure. Because when straight couples break up, it's sad, and maybe someone's fault (do you blame Brad or Jen, we wonder by the water cooler), but it's not considered proof that no straight people should be allowed to marry. But every time a public gay or lesbian couple splits up, I feel a little crushed, as if all gay or lesbian couples are going to be judged through the prism of that one relationship.

I must remind myself - and, I wish I could remind the naysayers - that straight marriages succeed only 50% of the time these days. We don't know what the stats are for commitment-minded queers, and so we have no sense of whether our numbers are comparable, or worse - or better, for that matter - than those for divorce.